I started taking psychedelics in my late teens and have had many different experiences on them. For a few years I took varying doses of psilocybin mushrooms while meditating - I would do this 3-4 times a week and often would go into the experience with fundamental questions about reality. On this page you will find things I wrote or recited during the experiences along with some other pieces written long after the experiences had passed.

The real trick isn't that the universe was born from a singularity
The real trick is to focus the universe back into a singularity

As you are
I am
Do not grasp
Do not yield
The point
Condensed
Only purity remains
No concepts
No senses
The point
You are
I am
All that remains
This
Which is inside
Which is outside
The back door into the boundless
The tipping-est point
All is yours
All is mine
All in time

Everything that humans have accomplished
Physically in this Universe,
Compared to the size of this Universe
Shares a similar ratio
In our understanding of this Universe.

 the use of psychedelics - at first i thought it was about seeing things but quickly realised that this was something to do alone and explore the depths of. there certainly were visual hallucinations but there was also distortion of time sense, body senses, etc. the most striking was a different kind of 'knowing' or 'being' that was apparent. exploring psychedelics rigorously allowed me to remember understanding things far beyond the capabilities of my human self.

All light lives as night

Non Visual:
You can sense it coming from above and around
In unison with its approach
You can feel your spacial awareness expanding
You realise that you will be caught
In the middle of contradictions
In a tug of war
The body temperature can fluctuate
If you are calm
And have understanding of the experience
You can control the intensity of it coming on
There is the feeling of another
It permeates
I know who it is
But can't know or say
It can be familiarly unfamiliar
And imposing beyond anything conceived
Most of these senses come early
At some point the physical body
Will be useless and it will dissolve
You won't be aware of it
Time and and other concepts
Will have no meaning

Visual:
There was a pattern
Of perfectly interlocking letters
Allot of the letter A was used
You could see through the pattern
But it was there
The spiral from above
Everything merging
Drawing all in and down
Cartoon faces puddling geometrically
Into the funneling
We sit on the line of the contradiction
The spiral from above
That extends below
Attracting
Collapsing...
Stairs that go up and down
Simultaneously
Electric living expression
Soothing me to go
UpDown walk to the door
Through it into expansive space
Soaring beautiful music
I am reverberating
Encompassing
A great city
Its size that of a galaxy
Shining electrons guiding the walls
Details of imagination and aura
Glowing no light but shining
All colours as parade
As masquerade
Quiet but busy with life
Teeming
Boiling over
But contained in neon lines
This place was as could only be imagined
By the greatest of gods
I've never seen the city again.

I was shown our particular Universe
This particular situation
There was a sea of living electric geometry
Funneling in and out of itself
The spirals within spirals
And then this universe appeared
From beginning to end it played
As a flash of invisible paper
If you look at it once
That is the story
Everything is there
In one flickering flash
Suspended among the vast
A portal
A flash
All you know is that
All you loved
Thought of
Imagined
All this in a flash
So fast
Very fast
That we couldn't grasp
Because if we did
We would see it all
From the beginning of the cosmos
To the...
Well,
I'm not going to give the whole story away

Invisible Paper

It's not going to be how you think
It's larger than you think
As dense as you could imagine.
And what of this reality?
An interference pattern of sorts
As thin as invisible paper

I was told there is another but I can't be sure if it was me

It is empty for what seems like forever
Nothing to touch
Or to touch with
But there are echoes

Where we are going
There are no strangers
It's the place that is strange

Today enlightenment was graciously offered to me,
Today I walked with Satori to the last line...
But I declined.
I did not see a reason why

Silence, when found, will last forever...but will be gone in a moment

Be careful about turning into something

Surrender At Dawn: Exigo

ePi

We sit here in a drawn out mystery, but we live this movie;
This end, when it arrives.
We have the joy to overcome the night
And our hands reaching for light
We can be whatever we wish; the dream not true.
So it seems so clever to disguise,
The wishing well has been wrung dry,
And we haven't any more life to dream about; we live now inside.

We sit alone together,
And sit together alone,
But it didn't have to be this way
If we had walked the paths most popular.
We talk to ourselves; together.

So it seems so daring and fine,
A fable passed down from time.
Like you, we have fumbled with honesty,
Like you, we never believed,
But when you see this free...
And fly this clear...

We sit alone together,
And sit together alone,
We talk to ourselves; together.

The Day

Nothing to prove, time slowly crawling into my veins,
My lips touch the smoke exiting my mouth,
Morning dew you are I see, Wondering just what is inside of me,
We can joke now about last night...it's our job.

Can you feel it?
Wave goodbye for the night never knows if it lives only once.
Can you see her? Pale perfection, nothing more.
It's all coming back later, so don't you worry about little insignificances and mistakes you may make.
You haven't made any mistakes this far;
Can you feel it?

Why don't you show me the way, show me the day;
I've never aged any other way than how I know.

I can feel the power flowing from my closest,
The nearest thing to me is one inside itself.
Me, what I've done, cannot be summed.

Soon as day grows weary, Soon as time closes shop,
The infinite dreams lie ahead.
Over the horizon, it's coming soon;
Can you feel it?

What could happen? What will become of tonight?
What will become of us?
You and I, it's drawing closer to us...the unavoidable.
The sun sets slow but early, the wind growing a dense cold,
The steady silent chill in every November night,
I feel the cold in my bones, I feel the anxiousness in my hands;
Surrender.

Threshold

This is where the monster under my bed lives;
Vaguely familiar road
Inside we were safe from anything outside;
Outside I could hold you.
Endless corners of countless trees
Passion flying through my hands in rhythm
I chose all the wrong ways to go.
The air was dense with discolor; my predictions...
Becoming fruitions
Can't stay in one place for too long; got to keep it moving along.

Only we rule here
This is our time; Our love
Moving along, a change of scenery
We laugh together;
Just us
And everybody else.

The text must be written
The night that never existed
From here on is make believe; this magical palace.
Here with you is all that I have left, though I don't know it; now.
A reach to the sky
To know my threshold.

Now is happening all the time
Now is everywhere
Now is infinite
It comes together and alone.

Maroon

We see the edge
The edge of reality
Dissolving our feet in the cool breeze; a silhouette of the world
We stopped time; breathing the stars on virgin trails.
All we are made of is sound and movement, but you can hold the music
When it's this good, you can hold it in your hands.
Look into the sky and you will see it; as high and wide as you can
Funneling down slowly; merging all imagination into its spiral.
Amazing it's description; so majestic, so sharp its turns and colors,
So beautiful; Unbearing.

No one has been where we have been;
No one has seen the emotion
In all it's mightiness,
Now never comes twice.

Come fly with me, past electric faces over ancient walls
Walk up and down the stairs; into the distance
As far as you can imagine this landscape thrives
The neon walls of the great city beckoning
Flying over it, where wings never touch the air;
Calmful free, one with everything.
We never imagined that one could make things like that up;
We never truly imagined.

No one has been where we have been; teeming with commotion
No one has loved as pure as us; No one has been the emotion
This leaves, the freeze, the summer, the storytellers greatest story.

The Universe has a soul;
But you can't walk there.

It's honestly quite amazing how real this world seems
Great job

And how something so limited can feel so absolute

Vortex

The goal is to head toward the event
And stay conscious enough to turn around
To see it all complete
Just a speck in the sea
Surfing the last line

Snewck

I sit here on edges of Earths
Looking out,
Focusing on
What's really happening here;
And found here...
Is but a glimpse.

Johwk

This Universe
A flimsy flicker
Explanations
Never linger